too much
by depaul1203
Summary: When everything comes crashing down on Brenda. Not sure how the rating thing goes on here.


Too Much

By Depaul 1203

Disclaimer :I do not own the closer nor the characters

Author's Note : Brenda and Raydor are friends.

I also want to thank Laby for dealing with me and editing for me. Thanks alot Laby. :-)

It had been a very long couple of months. Brenda felt like giving up on everything.

She felt she was worthless and had nothing to give anymore. She was bone weary. Fritz watched her night after night cry herself to sleep and felt helpless. He didn't know what to do or how to help her besides to be there for her. Her squad was worried too. She was losing weight and was always angry. As a way of showing support, her squad made sure there was always someone in the squad room in case she needed anything. They always made sure she had lunch every day and tried to get her to eat. They even bought her chocolate. The squad did anything they could think of to make her difficult job a little easier on her.

It all started when Brenda's father and mother came out to visit to tell her dad had cancer and that treatment wasn't likely to help. Then the lawsuit . Also the attack on her life. The squad and Brenda were arresting a gang member named Mike Pedro . Where Mike decided to shoot Brenda in the chest but she had a vest on . Brenda had the air knocked out her and had to go get checked out . The only thing wrong with her was some bruised ribs. Gabriel had the job to call Fritz and tell him Brenda was shot and was on the way to the hospital but she was looking okay.

The day Brenda's dad died was awful. Fritz was home when the call came and had the responsibility to tell Brenda. He walked into Major Crimes with tears in his eyes. The squad knew without him saying anything why he was there and the news he bore, and they knew Brenda was going to take it hard, which she did. When Fritz told her the news, she started screaming at him that it wasn't true. Fritz just grabbed her and held her while her squad watched over her out in the squad room. Brenda cried so hard she made herself sick. Lt. Flynn walked out of the squad room to Chief Pope's office to tell him Brenda 's dad passed away and she needed time off.

Chief Pope said. " Tell her I am and take all the time she needed." Fritz decided it was time to go home. Fritz said "Brenda it is time to go home" Brenda wanted to leave the back way but Fritz would not let her leave the back way. He knew Brenda needed to see her squad was there for her. They all came up and hugged her told her they were sorry. Tao called Kathy right after Fritz and Brenda left and asked her to make food to drop off. Flynn called Captain Raydor and told her about Brenda's father. Sharon left work immediately and headed for Brenda's house to be there for her Raydor sat with Brenda so Fritz could be on the phone to make arrangement for them to go to Atlanta.

Brenda made it through the services for her dad. She thought she had to be strong for her Mama so Brenda didn't let her see her cry. But all this did was make her mother worry about her, and and told Fritz so. Fritz said he was worried too, because Brenda was not grieving like she should. He knew that Brenda kept everything bottled up.

After Brenda got back from her dad's funeral Brenda had been staring blankly in out of space it would take a her squad 2 or 3 times to get her attention and losing files and also had dark circles under her eyes that everybody saw it. Brenda was always cold and shaky too. Her squad was getting very worried about her. They thought she was going to pass out.

Even Chief Pope became worried about her, and called her into his office to try to talk to her to get her to talk about what was happening . Chief Pope try to get her to take a few days off to grief just a little , when Brenda refused to take the time Chief Pope was given no other choice to put her on desk duty(meaning no interview no field work) tell she talked to someone he was hoping Dr. Leonard or someone but she wouldn't talk to anyone because she was dealing with it on her own and didn't need any help from anyone. Chief Pope decided to try to piss her off, but it never worked. Even Sanchez tried to push her buttons but it didn't work. She bottle it up even more. Her squad did nothing to stop Sanchez or Chief Pope from trying to annoy Brenda because they, along with Fritz, knew that's what she needed. Raydor never said anything to them about torturing her friend, but she stopped by and check in on Brenda everyday .Raydor tried to get Brenda to talk to her would invite her to dinner or a drink anything Raydor could think of to help would turn down every offer because it took energy she just didn't have.

The last straw for Brenda was when she didn't get the promotion to Chief of the LAPD.

Captain Raydor found out Brenda was not picked for Chief and knew she would be heartbroken. Sharon thought it would be better if she broke the news to her. She knocked on Brenda office door and Brenda signal for her to come in. Sharon sat down and told Brenda Will Pope made Chief. Brenda asked Sharon why she wasn't chosen. Sharon had no answer for her. Brenda was struggling not to cry but a few tears slipped down her cheek. Sharon suggested Brenda take the rest of the day off, and Brenda decided it was for the best. Brenda left out the back way. Sharon went and told the squad that Brenda was not chosen for Chief. They were all mad on her behalf but relieved she didn't get it. Flynn asked how she took the news, and Sharon answered diplomatically that it was challenging. Flynn was worried she do something stupid because she was at her breaking point. Flynn said "he was taking some personal time" and raced over to Brenda's house to be there before she got home. After Flynn left, Sharon called Fritz and told him that Brenda wasn't chosen for Chief, and that Flynn was waiting for her at there hung up the phone and headed straight home to be there for his wife. But Brenda didn't come home. Sharon was waiting at Brenda house with Flynn.

Flynn called Sanchez an asked if he could check the nearby cop bar and the Irish bar down the street because Brenda was missing. Sanchez found her at O'Malley's on her third glass of Merlot. Sanchez called Flynn back and told them they were on the way home. Brenda was fighting mad about going home because she wanted to drink but Sanchez didn't give her the choice. He hated making her mad, but Sanchez was doing the right thing and he knew it.

When Brenda got into the house she took one look at Fritz and Flynn and Sharon she just exploded, throwing things yelling swearing and crying. None of them made a move to stop her as along she wasn't going to hurt herself, glad to finally see her explode from all the grief and rage inside of her. They were happy to finally see her explode. After an hour of tantruming, Brenda finally went down to her knees and bawled. Fritz was right there to catch her and hold her. She just cried for everything-the lawsuits, her father's death, the dream of being Chief. Fritz held her and rocked her until her crying slowed, then he picked her up and moved them to the couch where Brenda fell asleep from exhaustion. Fritz carried her to bed where she slept for the next four hours. Flynn and Sanchez and Sharon started to clean up the mess. Fritz came back out to the living room and thanked all of them for straightening up and being there for Brenda.

Fritz said, "she probably not be there tomorrow ."

Sharon nodded. "She definitely needs to call in sick."

By the time Brenda woke up she had a headache and hurt all over. She also had bruise on her hand where she had punched a wall. When Fritz saw her hit the wall with her fist he got between her and the wall to stop her from hurting herself any more than she already had. Fritz didn't care if she hit him or not as long as she didn't hurt herself.

Fritz was able to get some food in her and her back to bed where she just passed out again. Brenda slept through the night, curled up to Fritz.

Fritz was the first one to wake up the next morning. He rolled over to watch her sleep. She looked so peaceful although he knew she wasn't. Fritz called her in sick and contacted his boss to give him a head's up on what's going on. Fritz's boss was okay with him not coming in.

Brenda slept until really late and still didn't want to get up because she was tired . Fritz made her get up a for a while to eat breakfast and to move around a bit also to talk about last night. Brenda fought him on everything. Brenda didn't want to eat nor talk. Fritz got his way with both.

Fritz and Brenda sat on the couch an talked about everything that had happened.

The lawsuit that were dismissed were because a young man killed himself in Park center and the parents file a lawsuit . They talked about the chief job. Brenda really didn't want it at first then she let herself dream about getting it . Brenda thought how much good she could have done with that job. She thought she would have done a better job and even told Chief Pope that.

They decided Brenda would take a few weeks off to get some rest maybe have her mama come out for a while.

Mid-afternoon, Sanchez and Flynn called to check on her. Brenda apologized for last night .

"Don't worry about it, Ma'am and see you in a couple of weeks. Get some rest you deserve it," Sanchez said. Flynn agreed. Brenda knew neither one of them would say anything to anyone about her breakdown.

The very first day of her vacation she slept all day long. Brenda would get up to go to the restroom and crawl back into bed and sleep some more . During this time her mama came to visit for a few weeks. Which helped Brenda a lot she was able to grief with her mama.

Few weeks later:

Brenda walked into work with a playfulness to her. The spring was back in her step. The smile was also back . Brenda brought coffee and donuts for her whole squad.

Brenda stood at the murder board and apologized for how she was acting before she took some time off. THe whole squad told her it was fine .They were just happy she was back.


End file.
